SYTYCD: Orange Juice and English Muffins
I’m really tired and I just realized that I have to write about 12 dances tonight, and I’m not sure how that’s going to turn out and if I can even make it through. Jason suggested I just pass on writing tonight, and I was all “Dude, there are like FIVE PEOPLE INCLUDING MY MOTHER who will wonder if I have died if I don’t write about this show.” And yes, my mom has known about this blog for a few months now, and yes, I was so mortified when I discovered this truth that I went out in the back yard and dug myself a six-foot hole under the old oak tree and laid myself down for a nice long rest. But then I got hungry after about 30 minutes and decided I could live with the help of a bag of Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips.
On to some dancing…or rather Cat Deeley’s totally buck LBD. I have never seen this woman look so lovely. At first I thought she had cut her hair into a delightful bob, but upon further inspection, my friends and I think she just has a stylist who has a talent with bobby pins. Either way, I love you more now than ever, Cat, and I want that dress.
This is our last evening with our paired couples, and tonight each couple performed two numbers. I am going to comment on both of their dances together, and for those of you married to chronology: well, you can bite me.
Melissa and Ade opened with a Doriana disco. I thought this was a great dance—not as strong as the Brandon and Janette disco, but well done anyway. I will say, however, that I thought Ade looked a bit uncomfortable, but he did a fine job, and at the end of the day, he wasn’t the one who fell on their ass. But who cares, it endears these two to me even more. Their final piece was a waltz—definitely more free in its choreography than we’ve seen in other waltzes. I thought it was lovely and well danced, but I also agreed with the judges that Ade needed to work on his footwork a bit. So finally, the man with the hair pick has a chink in his armor, but there you go.
Kayla and Kupono and the Man Cry of the evening. I guess addiction can do that to you, so I’ll forgive him. The consensus in my viewing group gave this Mia Michaels piece the highest praise of the night. I’m going to go against the group and put this as my #2 dance, simply for reasons you later will discover (read: WADE ROBSON). Mia really did a great job with the choreography, and I think the dancers were superb. The synchronization between these two is the best on the show and the way that Kayla lets her body be thrown around is amazing and would probably put me in the hospital, which is why she’s on the show and I’m not. My favorite part of this dance was the grabbing bit—well played people. Their next number was Broadway, specifically the school dance scene from West Side Story. I thought it began really strong but then fizzled. The entire time I kept thinking about that gym full of Sharks and Jet and how this just needed more. Do you blame the dance or the choreographers for that? I think the judges blamed the dancers for it.
And now a bit about costuming. Why would you ever put a beautiful (although slightly squint-eyed woman with far too heavy bangs) in a sequined flapper top and a humungous green skirt that reeks of Fashion and Style Tips from Better Homes & Gardens circa 1952? Sane people would not do this. Particularly when it basically ruins what otherwise would have been a respectable fox trot. The judges somehow were able to see beyond the skirt and liked this dance, but I don’t think America was able to see past the skirt. Luckily for Caitlin and Jason, they landed a lyrical jazz number by Mandy Moore for round two. For me, Mandy does not disappoint. However, I agree with the judges: it was very good but it didn’t have magic. And I think when it comes to Caitlin and Jason as a whole, Tyce put it best when he said they played it safe, and this is why I don’t lie in bed at night and think about these two dancers.
A couple I am going to think about tonight but FOR THE WRONG REASONS: Phillip and Jeanine. What the hell were these choreographers thinking? It was like watching two 6 year olds performing for Russian Heritage Day at the local Elks Club, which is a combination that you would never have nsee happen in my hometown but would have gotten about the same reaction as what I think this dance did: only proud looks from your drunk aunt Pearl and a fake smile from your mother who then had to take a cigarette break during the recital’s intermission so she could cope with the embarrassment. The judges, too, were perplexed, and it’s the first time Nigel has ever come close to telling a choreographer that they stink. And at the end of the day, this dance did nothing to help US-Russian relations. At all.
Their jive, however, was fun, and I think Jeanine is always great in whatever she does. Phillip did much better than expected, but therein lies the rub. We don’t expect much from Phillip in a style not his own. We always have to qualify his dances, and shouldn’t that say to us that maybe a dancer isn’t so good when we have to keep qualifying him?
Randi got knocked up, broke the news to the Baby Daddy who then hoisted her all over the place, and then accepted his proposal in a standard T&N hip-hop number. I thought Randi did a great job with this. She was fluid where needed, but she also hit it where needed. Evan, however, was way too fluid the whole time and I don’t think really embraced the hip-hop groove. So to me, this was fine but nothing special. However, special did rear its wonderful head in dance numero dos for these two, but it wasn’t from anything they did. Let’s just say if you watched Season 3 that you will remember the Hotness that is Pasha, our Russian Latin dancer who was voted off too soon and left hearts a-breakin’ (especially my friend Kaysi’s) all over the USA. Let me say this: time has been good to this man and it was a joy to see him again. He and Anya (also from S3) choreographed a sexy samba, which Randi pulled off in high style. Evan, again, was disappointing tonight. He needed to extend his limbs more and really get down and dirty with it, but it didn’t happen. And thus tonight our little hobbit friend came up looking just like that, a little hobbit, sans the really hairy feet.
Brandon and Janette were the last in the cycle tonight, and goodness are the two of these something else. They really lucked out with their Argentine Tango choreographers who created a piece that left Nigel with nothing to do but stand up and clap. (Mary and Tyce joined him.) He said it was “as close to perfection as I’ve seen” ever on this show for ballroom. Mary put them on the train, and Tyce tried to pull a Lil’ C-ism with something to do about orange juice (and I say to Tyce: leave the analogies to Lil’ C and stick with what you know best, which apparently is a shimmy move and that shouldn’t even be done in public but if it keeps you from talking about squeezing oranges, then so be it). So if that wasn’t great enough, Brandon and Janette scored with a Wade Robson piece that proved why I adore this man and think he has got to be the best choreographer in the world alive right now. He creates for dancers the coolest movements—movements that other choreographers just wouldn’t dream of using or else would try to use and fail in the attempt. And when the dancers are good, like these two, we get to see magic, and we get to see two dancers who won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
Speaking of which…bottom three for tomorrow? My viewing groups gives that distinction to Jason and Caitlin, Phillip and Jeanine, and Evan and Randi. We’ll see what happens.