After a delicious dinner of smoked-cheese cupcakes—and, oh yes, they really do exist—I sat down with some fellow SYTYCD devotees for the first night of competition for Season 8. I would like to start by saying the following: I'm glad to see a top 20 again; I'm glad to see Mia not on the judging panel; and I'm glad to see a rotating judge spot (Megan Mullally was an unexpected choice, but she ended up being not too shabby). Also: glad to see Cat again, looking like a rock-star Barbie. Cat: You look great. We are still best friends, and as best friends, let me give you this advice: lay off the tanning. Your chest looks like a leather purse.
The night began with Jordan and Tadd teaming up for an African jazz number by Sean Cheesman. The judges may have thought this was sensational, but me and mine thought it could have been taken to a higher level. I mean, I witnessed the following: Jordan kicked Tadd in the head three times IN THE SAME TURN; there was another clunky turn; and Tadd didn't seem to know what to do with his arms during the transitions. It was neat to watch but not well executed. The tattoo costumes were coolest part of dance, but they weren't enough for my vote.
Sasha and Alexander, who is blessed with a head full of hair that women (and many men) the world over I am sure envy, chose a contemporary routine by Travis Wall—and I could probably just stop there but I won't. It was great choreography—some of the darker subject matter we've seen from Travis—very powerful and very powerfully danced. However, the outfits were a bit distracting. I mean, my nieces could have put that shredded shit together. On another note, Sasha is one of my early favorites, even though—bless her heart—she had some lipstick on her teeth. Some advice for Sasha: look in a mirror and smile before you go on stage or check in with your mother—trust me, she'll have the tissue in hand and ready to go for just such an occasion (and it will make her feel useful).
Clarice and Jess (aka Evan 2.0, who also said the word "poopie" in his interview, which means he now needs to redeem himself in my book because that is a juvenile word and if you don't have the balls to say "bowel movement" in its place, then don't say it at all) chose a Broadway number by Tyce. I thought to myself: well, this will be good, and then Clarice walked out on stage in large sequined panties with bra suspenders. And yes, I just used the word panties—I knew it wouldn't take long into the season for it to slip out. Speaking of slipping out: SO DID HER UNDERWEAR. Clarice, dear one, I ask you the following questions: You are wearing panties, so why do you have panties on underneath the first pair of panties, and why are the second pair of panties hanging out? It's all very perplexing. Have someone check you from behind. You're welcome for the advice. So after notcing all that, I couldn't pay any attention to the dancing. So if this was well-danced, I have no idea.
Ryan of the amazinng blond hair, which makes me hate her, and Season 7 rejection and Ricky got a lyrical hip-hop piece by Christopher Scott (who I have high hopes for as a choreographer). I really liked the choreography and I thought Ricky did a great job. Ryan, on the other hand, was too rubbery. She needs to be aware of her knees and elbows in hip-hop—she needs to hit it and lock it all the way. The judges liked this but were all confused as to why Ryan seemed happy in what was supposed to be a sad story. And in a sign that she has apparently never watched this show before, Ryan decided to explain herself to judges, to which I say, oh honey no.
Mitchell had an elbow injury. Therefore Caitlynn had to dance a Sonya jazz number with Robert from Season 7. Three words: I love Sonya. Additional words: Robert stepped up to the plate; great lifts (the split across the back was sublime); great leg extensions. Caitlynn is a perfect match for Sonya, and the judges loved her too.
Miranda and Robert (the "Wooo" guy) picked a Latin number with Jason Gilkinson. Miranda was worried because she said she was not good at being sexy—well no shit, girl, you just admitted to a national television audience that you still sleep with a nightlight. Anyway, she comes on stage looking like a go-go girl and Robert looks like Steve Urkel in Twitch glasses. For me, the clothing and music did not go with the Latin theme. Also, I don't want every dance Robert performs to channel his nerdy (yet endearing) personality. I want to see him step outside of himself, and I think Nigel made a good observation: Robert's personality could go either way: people could love it or get annoyed.
Missy and Wadi danced a jazz number by Sean Cheesman. The dance began in a box—first prop of the season and fortunately well-used with the choreography. I must agree with Nigel: this really was the best we've seen from Sean Cheesman thus far on the show. There was that really neat floor lift segment, followed by what would have been a great side-by-side synchronized bit had Missy and Wadi not been about 1 second apart on it; and then there were those AMAZING flips by Wadi off of the box. And I loved the red lighting. Although I really enjoyed watching this, it wasn't perfect, but the judges made no comments about that. So I'm concerned they are already allergic to giving criticism because a blind man could have picked up on that off synchronization there in the middle of the piece. And a note to Mary: It's PANDORA's box, not PADORA's box. I also know why the straw is yellow—because it is not water that you drink.
Melanie, who looks like she could be on the US gymnastics team if she added some barrettes to her hair—meaning, totally cute and I love her—was teamed with Marko for a contemporary number by Travis Wall. Were two great pieces in one night possible from the same choreographer? No. One was great and one was brilliant. Often the best routines get the quietest responses from the judges, and this routine proved that. The make-up and costumes perfectly portrayed statues—in any other routine they might have looked silly. Melanie and Marko were pure muscle and possessed total control in their movements. There was side-by side synchronization, emotion, and technical perfection. That is why I watch this show. This is what makes the judges stand up. Thank you Travis.
Ashley paired with Chris for a hip-hop number by Christopher Scott. The story: cheating. And it hit home for Chris who had a moment that was necessary for the producer's of the show to clarify as NOT a dramatization, just in case we were confused and failed to join in his emotion. While they were dancing, I was totally drawn to Ashley. She wash hitting harder than Chris by far, but I wondered if his outfit had anything to do with it. He should have ditched the jacket at least; it seemed to weigh him down.
And for our final number of night 1, we had Iveta and Nick in a quick step number by Jason Gilkinson. First of all: THIS IVETA BROAD IS YOUNGER THAN ME, which means either my skin-care routine is excellent or she's had some good work done for a 70-year-old because, really, she looks like a 70-year-old who's had a lot of work done. Second: She should not match all of her clothes to her skin tone. Hasn't anyone ever told her that before? Third: that gold outfit in the introduction number—PUT IT THE HELL AWAY. Camel toe is not safe for prime time television. Actually, it's not safe anywhere except on a camel. Gosh. So back to the dancing...this was not an exciting piece, even though they tried to make it so with the flashy lighting.
My guesses for the bottom three: Jordan and Tadd, Clarice and Jess, Iveta and Nick; Miranda and Robert are a close fourth.
And before I call it a night: wouldn't you all say it's good to be back? Cheers!
I'm a week behind (just watched the first Las Vegas show today), so I didn't actually read what you wrote above, but I just wanted to say that I'm so happy it's SYTYCD time again! Weee! I'll be back to read this when I'm all caught up :)
Posted by: Melissa | June 16, 2011 at 12:33 AM