I don’t feel like writing because I thought it was a pretty shitty finale. Nevertheless, let’s get bitchy and have at it, beginning with the obvious: Katie Holmes. As if there aren’t enough bad things going on in the world right now, there sat a woman who was incapable of saying a single original thing. Let me sum up her responses in four words: amazing, strong, exciting, magical. And now I will sum up how I felt about her presence on the show tonight in four words: just shoot me now.
Our other guest judge was nearly as robotic and boring: Kenny Ortega of Dirty Dancing fame. I will say nothing more about these two.
Marko and Melanie began the evening with a disco number by Doriana Sanchez. Oh dude, this was bad. The lifts…it pains me to speak of them. And two of the Judges We Won’t Name were all kissing ass and praising this atrocity. Thank the lord for Mary and Nigel, who stepped in and spoke the truth.
Sasha and Bleeding Love all-star Mark were given a Sonya Tayeh piece that was choreographed as an ode to Sasha. This was really well-danced, although I think Mark did a better job. However, I didn’t feel a great connection to the piece once it was over. But what I do remember is that during the commentary, the camera panned to the audience and we got a look at Legacy. This was a highlight of the evening for me. It’s almost like the producers knew that in a deep sea of mediocrity, the viewers might need something to give them hope.
Speaking of hope…JOSHUA!!! A collective cheer went up in the room when we heard Joshua was returning as an all-star. And if any of you are late comers to this show and keep wondering what I mean by earlier seasons having a spark that more recent seasons have not had, you just needed to watch his performance. Of course, Tadd was there too in this Lil’ C hip-hop piece, but it was really difficult to watch anything on stage except for Joshua. And did you see him hustle across the floor on his knees at the end? That, my friends, is how you bring it and then take it home with you.
Melanie and Robert were given a Stacey Tookey contemporary routine about unrequited love. I liked the part when Robert came into Melanie’s already held embrace, and there was some great side-by-side synchronization as well. Really beautiful, and one of my favorites of the night (as if that was hard to achieve), but I really appreciated most what Mary said about Melanie: that the room gets really quiet when Melanie dances.
Sasha and Marko were teamed for a dinner table Broadway number by Spencer Liff. This was pretty good, but nothing like Center Stage from last week. However, I applaud the costume department. I really want to wear that purple sparkly dress that Sasha donned, although I’m not sure the world needs to see that much of my upper thigh region.
Sasha was next paired with Tadd for a cha-cha by Mark Ballas. This was horrible on many levels, so many, that one of the Judges We Won’t Name didn’t have the balls to even comment on the dancing at all (I’m sure out of fear that her husband would disapprove and punish her by cutting bangs for himself that she would then have to watch in agony as they grow out). And the other Judge We Won’t Name said that it was too ambitious for tonight. To which I say: WTF? It’s the finale, fool. It should be ambitious. I mean, didn’t Baby successfully leap onto Johnny’s arms at the end-of-season revue at Kellerman’s? Yes she did, so if you can’t be ambitious on a finale, then you need to just pack it up and go home (and also refrain from remaking an already classic movie).
Marko and Lauren Froderman were given an excellent contemporary number by Tessandra Chavez. Y’all know how I feel about side-by-side synchronization and this was the best I’ve seen all season. The dance even included some mirrored movements as Marko and Lauren went in separate directions. This was expertly danced and expertly choreographed.
Ray Leeper choreographed a number about cheating danced by Melanie and Tadd. I wish the choreography department would realize that the pants that Olivia Newton-John wore in the final scene from Grease need to be left just there—in the final scene from Grease. Why they did that to Melanie is beyond me, but my guess is that someone wants her to lose the competition. Anyway, my personal opinion on this number may be unpopular: it was totally lame choreography, and I don’t care if Tadd ended up in his boxers by the end of the dance. It’s not like they were Manties.
For the ladies, Stacey Tookey choreographed a contemporary number about a pair of suppressed housewives from the 1950s. I would like to call this Mad Men, and although the show Mad Men does a great deal for me (hello, Jon Hamm!), this dance did very little.
Marko and Tadd ended the evening in a gumboot stepping routine by Chuck Maldonado. It reminded me of the garbage truck routine except these were miners and they were wearing big cheap Wellies. This was underwhelming, and the evening ended as it began.
Each dancer also performed a solo as if we haven’t seen all that before. Therefore, so I don’t end my post and our Season 8 finale on a totally bitchy note, I will say that Cat Deeley’s hair looked lovely and I adore the fact that she blushes when someone mentions her Emmy nomination. Seriously Cat, we are best friends but you just don’t know it yet!
Kate is on a business trip, so I can't talk to her about the finale until next week! Horrors! So, I'm going to comment A LOT because I think I might explode if I don't get this out like right now (after she broke the news to me, I said "Well, thank god for Margaret!"):
1. Every time Katie Holmes opened her mouth, the words "Shut the F up Katie" just came spewing from my mouth. I felt terrible about it, but it was a Tourette's-like reaction. After a few times, I did manage to force myself to drop the F out of it, which made me feel slightly less childish.
2. Legacy!! **hearts** **hearts**
3. JOSHUA!!! I was all smiles and happy claps from the moment he stepped on stage until he left it; I barely noticed Tadd. I always knew this season's dancers were not quite at the level of other seasons, but when the all stars started showing up, I realized just how lackluster these kids are. It started with Brandon and Jordan and he just danced her under the table, and I just felt so sad that we don't have dancers that strong in this batch. And then Joshua brings it home even harder, in the finale no less, that these kids just aren't there.
4. That cha cha was the worst I've ever seen. I mean, what was that? It was like they didn't even know the steps. Horrible awful no good. I don't remember a ballroom routine that was worse than that. And THIS WAS THE FINALE!!! Sigh.
5. I totally agree about the lameness of that Melanie and Tadd routine. I did not understand the judge's praise of that. Meh.
6. Where the hell was Travis Wall? Travis is the finest finale material they've got. I missed him.
Bottom line: Worst finale ever, but considering how subpar this season was in general, I can't say I'm terribly surprised. I guess I was just hopeful after last week. Oh well, here's hoping that a better batch of dancers have reached maturity by the next round of auditions!
Posted by: Melissa | August 11, 2011 at 08:57 AM