By the end of the evening, my friend Kaysi and I had three definite couples for our bottom and two on the bubble, which shows our feelings about the caliber of dancing tonight. But when the evening begins with Cat Deeley wearing a Bumpit in her hair, you can either go up or stay the course, and most of the dancers decided to stay the course.
We began with Karen and Kevin and a hustle by Maria Torres. The whole time they were up there, I kept thinking to myself: if Brandon from Season 5 were doing this, I might feel something in my heart. But I didn’t feel anything at all tonight, and I didn’t think it had the level of energy—even the controlled level energy required by the hustle—that it needed. The judges loved this, but sometimes the judges are wrong.
Dearest Mandy Moore: I love you. I love your choice of music. I love your choreography. But I hate the fact that I have to refer to your current hairstyle as a mullet. Let me offer a solution: scissors. Anyway, the jazz routine Mandy created for Ashleigh and Jakob was really great. As the judges pointed out (and Kaysi and I noted beforehand because WE ARE THAT GOOD), this reminded us a lot of The Negotiation dance from Season 3 (although I think that one is still supreme by far) minus the table and the James van der Beek of dance but plus a cane and some black pants not seen since Danny Zuko got chills over Sandy Olsson.
Pauline and Peter drew the quick step, which also introduced us to new choreographers JT and Tomas. It was described as a Navy guy meets a hula girl, which I think it what the rest of us refer to as South Pacific, but anyway. I thought the dance filled the stage nicely, but I agree with the judges: the performance was good but the technique was bad.
And then it happened, and it wasn’t even my favorite routine of the evening, but it happened nonetheless. I had been resisting this all season because (a) he calls himself Legacy and only a total d-bag would do that, right? and (b) he’s a habitual Man Cryer, which makes me roll my eyes. But he’s apparently very good at soccer and I’ve always been a sucker for soccer players (hence, I married one), and then he gets up there and he moves like he does and I couldn’t help myself anymore. That’s it. I’m done. I have a favorite this season. I fell in love with a dude named Legacy tonight, and I put him on the shelf in my room with Gev and Pasha and Travis. (And now my spouse rolls his eyes.)
Oh, and about the Broadway number itself? It was okay, but Kathryn, bless her heart, was not her best this evening, and the judges didn’t hold back in letting her know. If I were her, I would have gone backstage, found my hidden stash of chocolate, indulged, and cried.
Channing and Victor got a Stacey Tookey contemporary piece. This is the first time I’ve liked Channing in anything, and I thought both dancers did a nice job. Nigel, although impressed with their technique, gave them a warning: they were good but not brilliant in their own style, which doesn’t bode well for when they pick a style not their own in the future.
Speaking of styles not their own: Ellenore and Ryan, the latter of whom I can’t help but think of as the Tarzan of dance. He’s really just a cave man who shaves his chest and uses hair products, and it makes me oh so weary. Lil C also must have been weary after watching Ellenore and Tarzan fall completely flat on his hip-hop number. I actually liked the choreography, but these dancers couldn’t hit hard or get down and dirty like it needed to be done. And yes, it wasn’t their style, but they could have at least made it respectable.
Oh Molle and Nathan. You are both too young and too clean for salsa. To make it worse, your outfits were too different from each other to bring any cohesion to this dance. You know what it reminded me of? Dirty Dancing…HAVANA EFFIN’ NIGHTS. Which is not a compliment and yes I know I should be embarrassed to admit to The Internet that I have seen it, but (a) give me a break and (b) Diego Luna is really cute.
After the salsa, I really thought I might have to give up on the evening and possibly the season, but let’s give a big Praise God! to Sean Cheesman’s African jazz and Russell and Noelle for bringing it. If Lil C had been a judge, he would have said a lot of words about this, but I will sum it up in one that he would have said for certain: buck.
So now that voting rights have been restored to the American people, what do we think tomorrow will bring? I think Karen/Kevin, Victor/Ellenore, and Mollee/Nathan are strong contenders for the bottom three. Pauline/Peter and Kathryn/Legacy are sitting on the bubble. It will be interesting for sure.